Leaving Wicca With Warm Memories And Regrets

“Gender binary, what are you some kind of left wing hippy”

This was the response when I confronted a co-worker for telling a Trans Woman that  “you are a man, you can’t be here you have a penis”.  The entire situation saddened me and again got me to thinking about confronting the black and white thinking that is perpetuated around gender.

On many levels I often take refuge in my spiritual community, here are individuals who understand, are willing to confront old warn out ideas and behaviors.  When I thought about it, however, I was reminded of how uncomfortable I have been during the last few years when I attend a ritual and witness the gender binary on full display within a sacred context.

Dozens of conversations have been held among well meaning members of the Wicca community about this issue.  Individuals profess an understanding of gender equality, agreement is shared all around and NOTHING CHANGES!

It is a sad day when my emerging, evolving, and open hearted spiritual path becomes so tied to its’ dogma and the “we have always done it this way” ethic that in practice their actions continue to disrespect community members who identify with many of the other manifestations of gender identity.

My issue with this situation has become more than problematic; it has become a situation where I perceive my own spiritual path as an obstruction in seeking social justice.  As a result I have come to a place where I am no longer able to embrace Wicca as my spiritual home.

Yes I remain a Neo Pagan, I remain a Witch, and I continue to worship the Goddess.  What I can no longer do is support the institutional dogma of a religion that refuses to evolve even when the members acknowledge the need for change.  This is dogma that violates the precious “Do No Harm” principle that is central to my beliefs.

Over the last few years,  I have paid attention to the pain on the faces of respected community members when they encounter this narrow interpretation of gender in ritual.  They generally remain respectful, as do I in ritual.  It is time however, for me to grow, evolve, change and stop participating in sacred spaces that are stuck in the harmful dogma of the past.  I love my Wiccan friends and will always gladly invite them into the circles I participate in, I will however no longer lend my sacred energy to a belief system that as a whole refuses to evolve.

Growth is painful, this is painful, I honor my spiritual past, I will miss the profoundly moving rituals, yet I cannot refuse to acknowledge the need to move forward un encumbered with actions that harm my many friends who identify as manifestations of the wonderfully diverse pool of gender identities.

For more on this issue see this guest post from a friend:

  http://paganinparadise.blogspot.com/2011/10/guest-post-some-thoughts-on-healing-our.html