It is supposed to be packing day. The fridge is cleaned out
and I am eating at fast food joints to allay my need for protein. With the fantasy that I will just have
a salad, I arrived at the local Mc Donalds on my scooter and went to use
the restroom.
As I entered the men’s room I was confronted with an
ignorant brute that had another individual against a wall, confused I slowly
backed out. As the yelling became louder I heard many homophobic and trans
phobic slurs.
As I reentered the restroom, I used my deepest voice and
called on the aggressor to confront me if he had a problem. He swung,
I ducked, his fist hit a solid wall. I could hear bones break.
Whimpering that he would “get me” he ran from the restroom.
As I turned around to check on the person who was assaulted, I noticed the male
clothing, coupled with makeup, and distinctly feminine jewelry. She briefly explained
that she was in her “day work clothes” and has had many bad experiences with
attempting to use the women’s room in the past.
I am stunned at the level of transphobia. First to all, to
the women that caused this individual use the men’s room, shame on you for actions
that lead to this assault. Second, to the jerk that assaulted her, you are a
criminal, while the victim did not want to call the police, I surly would testify
against you. Finally, to all those for whom transphobia is a remote issue that
others deal with, you are wrong, today I had to deal with it face on and it was
ugly.
Today I had to make a decision as to weather to get
involved. The tug to “mind my business” was strong. In the end, however, I
would rather take a beating for my decision to intervene than allow someone to
take a beating for who they are. I am glad it turned out as it did, yet it
has caused me to think deeply about our cultures influences that call on us to
remain silent and un involved in the face of hate, I felt the tug to turn away,
and I am not proud of that instinct.
6 comments:
I sincerely appreciate your honesty. In allowing yourself to be vulnerable to negative remarks and rejection for admitting you were tempted to turn away, you have allowed others who are not always as strong and "physically present" (I am aware that your presence is palpable thing when you choose it to be), to also step up to the plate. You didn't simply go charging in like the storybook hero - you paused. You were confused. Then you took a breath and charged BACK in anyway. No matter your own wishes in the matter. No matter the consequences. You took action. No matter if that action took the form of alerting management (as some might opt to do), or calling upon the help of other patrons, or stepping literally into the path of physical danger - you took action. I appreciate that you did. And that you set an important example. Perhaps you don't WISH to be a "hero" - but many view you as one, regardless, my friend. If YOU didn't step into the fray - who would? Thank you for who you choose to be. I am grateful.
Being tempted to turn away is something all of us face, but answering the call and turning toward the problem at hand is what good citizens do.
Being tempted to turn away is normal anxiety on the face of threat. I don't think anyone should be ashamed of this. Thank you for choosing to help!
Are you kidding!? You faced down your instinct to turn away and challenged a brutal attacker. This is called courage. Perhaps you made that attacker think twice before he attacked someone again.
This time the Universe gave the aggressor bruised knuckles. If that person is a total klux who hasn't learned his lesson yet, the next time the lesson may be a bit more brutal.
Ms. Lilypads, If his next lesson is more brutal, it won't be at my hands. With training in "Non violent crisis intervention" my goal was and would be in the future to stop the attacker. Without causing him harm, I would attempt to put him on the floor and assist the victim in escaping. I understand the urge, but the use of excessive force is something I hope to never engage in.
Thank you for speaking out. When anyone speaks out it stands as a model for the rest of us who may be called upon to step up another day. I am grateful for your example.
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